” She just smiled, and it wasn’t long before he moved back home.You have been wronged, and he’s the one who’s behaving badly.But there’s enormous power in inspecting your side of the street to see if there are messes you regret and want to clean up. Say, “I apologize for being disrespectful.” Watch your dignity return.If your husband tries to make you happy in any way, big or small (and in my experience, he will), do your best to receive the gesture and reflect your pleasure at his efforts.
There are going to be days when you think it’s not worth it, or it’s hopeless and stupid to try to save your marriage.
It’s only the beginning, and the story will get much, much better.
I know it sounds counterintuitive, because you’re in the worst heartbreak and pain of your life, but it’s absolutely imperative that you make yourself ridiculously happy right away. It feels like your life is on fire, but you can reclaim it by deciding to have some pleasurable moments every day. It’s an indispensable step to reclaiming what’s rightfully yours: a gratifying life with a monogamous, playful, passionate marriage.
My list went a little something like this: tall, dangerous, smart, tattooed, funny, scars from bullet or stab wounds, good looking, brooding, protective — the kind of man all the men respect and all the women want, with a dark gleam in his eye. this list really only spoke of stuff on the surface.
At the time, I hardly noticed how shallow my list really was.