Everyone judged me and that’s fine—I put myself in that situation and I understand it. I didn’t think the community could be so judgmental. We fought and we struggled; we couldn’t make it work. We both grappled with the decision to divorce, but he’s been supportive of me. I’m not the first or the only woman who slept with a man but still identified as gay. “The Real L Word” was supposed to be a place where we could tell our real stories. The show portrayed it as if I got married on the same day as Whitney. Now I’m just stepping away and getting back to being me. It’s funny, nobody had any opinions when some cast members were fucking each other over, or sleeping with multiple women. But I became very surprised by the amount of criticism and hate that I received. I dated Dusty seven years ago, when I was dealing with the loss of my father. We had a lot of unfinished business that I felt I needed to finish. Romi: Obviously I learned the hard way that being open about who I am is going to be criticized. I understand that people wanted me to be a lesbian, because of the show. In real life, there’s confusion; there’s heartache; there are identity problems. There was never any marriage competition, which is how they characterized it. Are we gay, are we straight, are we masculine, are we feminine? Romi: There are some people, but I would really rather not say. This is actually the first time in a really long time that I’m living in a house by myself. In my past few relationships, I was the one taking care of the other person.
That’s why I’ve been with women for most of my life. And it’s hard to come out to your lesbian circle that you like a guy, just as it is for someone to come out as gay to their straight friends. When I had the camera on me and I was blacking out, it hit me in the middle of all this—and I thought, “I’m not going to do this with the camera on me.” So, I told the producers that I wasn’t going to drink anymore.
If I’m that bad, then why are all these people still in my life? I’m clearly comfortable being on camera, but over the past few years, I have lost a lot of my privacy. Because they kept that up, there’s a part of themselves that nobody is going to know.
Whether they’re lying or bullshitting or giving the audience the personality they want to see, I’ve got to give them credit.
Romi Marie, as she’s known professionally and on social media, has now separated from her above-mentioned husband. The timing, the sequence of events, and what they presented was not the story that I was telling.
She recently talked with GO in an exclusive interview to set the record straight (pun! For legal reasons, I’m not allowed to disclose how the story really went, but I have to clear this up about my wedding.