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Those people were not only attractive to me but seemed like the best bet.

Obviously confident people communicate clearly, right? Obviously when you’re just starting out in something, someone who has.

Beginner reading on non-monogamy over-hypes jealousy to the point where people go into non-monogamy assuming any negative feeling they have about a person their partner is dating is inherently jealousy and any attempt to express that feeling is automatically controlling, abusive behaviour.

In my first non-monogamous ‘relationship’, I had spoken to this guy for a year (I lived in the US, he in the UK and I was moving to the UK within a few months) when he suddenly began dating a person he’d never mentioned before.

It’s not really about financial gain – obviously that’s a plus – but it’s more about the improvement in lifestyle.

I could never afford to go out to fancy restaurants or the like without an arrangement.

When you first learn about polyamory or non-monogamy, what most people call ‘open relationships’, you’ll likely be directed to several publications: The Ethical Slut, Opening Up, and the website More Than Two.

As a person with an anxiety disorder, my immediate response to my own fear is to not take it seriously or examine it with a fine toothed comb.Quickly I found though that there were several lessons I had to learn the hard way that these sources either didn’t teach me clearly enough or actually got in my way of learning these lessons.So here are the 13 things I wish I’d learnt earlier about non-monogamy:hen you first start reading about non-monogamy, the emphasis on the unhealthiness of jealousy is drilled into you to the point where, at least for me, not being one of those jealous people you hear about that implode their own relationships by trying to control their partners’ every move becomes your personal mission.Relationships aren’t a game where playing gives you more experience.It’s about an individual exchange and if they have always come up a little short handed, it might be what is showing.nother thing that beginner non-monogamous sources fail to really discuss is the fact that non-monogamous setups where an individual doesn’t spend a long time with any one individual but sees them rarely can allow for people who would normally be toxic and difficult to be around to have plenty of ‘functional’ relationships.

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