Validating people

Now, you may proceed to ameliorate it..." In validating another's pain, you are acknowledging that they're suffering is worth taking the steps to alleviate. It is one more indicator of how we as humans need contact, connection, and mutual understanding in order to heal--and to function at our highest capacity.

Certainly, some people need more validation than others in order to feel empowered enough to alter their painful situations...

" In its most tragic form, the increasing need for validation from those with decreasing capacity to give it keeps people locked in bad and abusive relationships.

The parties feel like they can't be okay until their partners "get" how bad they feel.

But their partners can't get how bad they feel, because the guilt and shame of recognizing the harm inflicted on loved ones would be overwhelming. The notion that pain needs to be validated is bizarre, when you consider its function as the organism's primary alarm system.

It did not evolve to be validated; it evolved to motivate corrective action. You see if there's a fire, and if so, you put it out or leave the burning building.

Failure of others to validate the hurt of those who think they need validation feels like the cruelest kind of abuse.

If you are in a relationship with someone who you continuously do not feel validated by, then it should be a red flag indicating your personalities just don't jibe.

I suppose the happiest friendships and romantic situations I have been in have involved a sense of mutual validation: a perception that the other person acknowledges and understands the weight of your life and can, in such understanding, help you to manage it.

through art, music, or helpig someone else out who faces similar problems as you do--then successful validation should alleviate that preoccupation, should lessen it.

At least, this has been my experience (though I am just an n of 1). But I have always seen validation (or, at least, the perception of being validated by someone else) as a marker for two individuals' compatability.

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