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It's 1918, the height of United States involvement in World War I - Liberty Bonds are sold, German immigrants are suspected as traitors or saboteurs, young men everywhere succumb to the ...See full summary » On Valentine's Day is the central film in Horton Foote's semi-autobiographical trilogy that also includes Courtship and 1918.You hope that she got hit by a bus or something, but odds are, she was just turned off by your approach.It’s insanely difficult to be funny, engaging, interesting, etc., in an opening line with a girl you know nearly nothing about. You spend the first 2 years of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk.

Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! Shout out to my fingers, I can always count on them.

If only God can judge us, then Santa has some explaining to do. He's an Italian plumber, created by Japanese people, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican. Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of credit card payments. In about 20 years, the hardest thing our kids will have to do is find a username that isn't taken. Why do medications never have any good side effects?

I wish you would eat some makeup so that you’re pretty on the inside too! I farted in the Apple store and everyone yelled at me. Virginity is like a soap bubble, one prick and it is gone. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

But while you may be a boring dolt who is a complete drain on society, I’m a creative genius, and have perfected the art of openers.

Today, on this blog, I am giving away 42 openers to all of you…COMPLETELY FREE OF CHARGE.

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