The important thing about the married man is he’s probably coping with his limited marriage by doing something else (work, alcohol, substances, whatever consumes and distracts him).
In some instances he ‘knows’ his wife is cheating on him and looks the other way.
Usually at the beginning of such an arrangement, when the triangle is young so to speak, the ‘other man’ usually tells himself he likes this arrangement because he doesn’t have to make a commitment.
She can go back to her husband when we’re done making love, right? The problem comes when over time an attachment forms between the married woman and her ‘other man.’ Now she is growing used to the arrangement and has convinced herself that the triangle makes her disappointing marriage tolerable.
I know the storybooks tell us that it’s better to stay together.
But I think there are plenty of people who never should have gotten together to begin with.
The ‘other man’ gets painfully left out, not yet knowing that is the best thing that could happen to him.
Something always goes wrong, or at least it should, because triangles usually end up hurting people more than anything else.
Instead, defensive stuff happens like distancing from each other or finding another lover to make up for what is not happening in the marriage.
The problem is you can’t get a piece of what you need from one person and another piece from someone else and expect to have a stable and satisfying love life.
A lot of misery is avoided with a respectful ending and opportunity to start again with someone else after a period of sincere efforts to fix a love relationship.
The point is a triangle happens when two married (or simply committed people) don’t fix their marriage.