They weren’t serious relationships, but I was still jealous. Even after goofy Mike literally asked me on a date, I didn’t take him seriously. We acted together in a summer theatre program called Second Stage.Since I was insecure and lonely, I was jealous of anyone who found someone that understood, cared for and stood by them. I was too insecure and loathed myself too much to be able to understand what another person could value in me. I met him at auditions and it was love at first sight; for me, at least.There was no way that he could like me in that way.I was interested in giving a relationship with Mike a try, yet I was afraid.My crushes as an overweight girl started when I was in elementary school. It began as an odd acquaintanceship with Mike in my freshman year of high school. Though the compliments were strange, they were detail-oriented and weren’t backhanded. Another part of me said that he was just taunting me.
I was polite and naïve, so I replied to any guy who didn’t message me with “Hey” or “You’re hot”. Mainly, it’s about physical intimacy, emotional intimacy and adding enjoyment to your life. If you can’t honestly say ‘yes’ to those questions, you might need to lose weight. I focused on pleasing everybody and making them like me. I tried to lose weight because my mother wanted me to. I’ve worried about others’ opinions for the majority of my life.Yet I forgot the opinion that mattered most—my opinion of myself.I was still losing weight and learning to love myself when I met my husband, Rob. How could somebody such as Rob ever like (or love) a person like me?I was afraid he would realize how much work I needed.