I've had some very good friendships grow out of what might be considered "failed" intimate relationships. Now if I were to generalize that all women were going to be like my most recent ex, be completely closed and uncommunicative, lying, and in the end, exploit me, and treat all new relationships with this in mind, then that would be baggage! Just how is it that you feel a child would ruin a relationship?Just to clarify, not dwelling, just a statement of facts. At this stage in my life - any crap that they cannot control on thier own - or get help for on thier own - is way too much to deal with!!And one person's "baggage" is another person's genius.Look at visionaries like Albert Einstein, Mozart, Shakespeare, and many others deemed "mentally ill" or unstable for their time, and look at what they've contributed to our world!!I have no issue if a friend or partner wants to talk at length about the horrible things that have happened to them in the past, and their fears of repeats in the future, as long as it doesn't stop us from going about our lives in a normal way and does not prevent us from enjoying the world around us.I once dated a person that had a real hang up about doors being slammed as she associated this with abusive partners in the past.Different guys can have different reasons for this. It was really the honorable choice."any ambiguous psychological disorders that require anti-depressants"All due respect, but that's not "baggage" that's a medical condition.
Therefore, I don't think it really matters WHAT the baggage is about, but the fact that a person has not been able to leave the baggage at the claims desk means that he/she is not ready to ride the plane.
I have been there - done that - not going to be someones life long therapist anymore!! Others may have way more tollerance for dealing with someones baggage!!
I just figure - I delt with my own and put mine aside to seek a new companion - I would expect others to do the same!!!
I don't need to feel like I am not quite as good as 'Janet' and never will be. I find that their character is more refined, complex, intuitive and compassionate.
Conversely, the lack of experiences which provide these traits results in superficiality."I agree, through conflict one develops character.