Dating and marriage jokes

Bill’s second Anniversary was coming up and if there was one thing that got his wife Suzy upset, it was not getting a thoughtful gift on a special occasion.

Bill quizzed all his friends, co workers, clients and anyone he happened to bump into, as to what would be a good anniversary present. Not willing to trust himself to pick out the right flowers, Bill called up a local flower shop with strict instructions to deliver the biggest most beautiful bouquet of flowers first thing in the morning with the following note “Happy Anniversary Year Number Two!

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.His wife Maggie was in labor and Brian was sure it was time to head to the hospital. Her husband came in to the room and glanced at what she was doing, and started badgering, “HONEY be more careful! Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor. ” The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, “just try to relax, now tell me how much time elapses between the contractions? ” Brian screamed on the top of his lungs, “HOW MUCH TIME IN BETWEEN THE CONTRACTIONS? One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own.

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