Anyone who disregarded the rule was subject to church censure.Even such groups as permitted the young people to make their own promise of marriage required them to obtain the consent of their parents.It was not only a piece of folly but in bad taste or even sinful.This view prevailed in many circles till late in the 19th century.European youth tend to go out in groups, and pair dating is not likely to begin until the late teens, or until there is serious intent to find a spouse.The older European customs are reflected still today among the Old Order Amish, Old Order Mennonites, Old Colony Mennonites, Hutterites, and the Church of God in Christ, Mennonite (CGC).Tobit of the Apocrypha still serves the Amish as a model of betrothal and marriage.
As a result, major tensions and disaffection develop sometimes between traditional parents and their modernized offspring.
Such practices have now almost universally disappeared in America in favor of the personal proposal by the young man to the chosen one.
The change has been due to the general adoption of the American concept of romantic love as the basis for marriage.
After they had consented the young man would come to the home of the girl and the engagement took place.
(Daniel Chodowiecki's painting "Mennonite Proposal for Marriage" illustrates this.) After some visiting among relatives the wedding would take place, usually in two weeks after the engagement.