Spouse abuse by an angry man does not usually randomly begin fifteen years into a marriage. Abuse is not only physical- it can also be emotional. If he is more concerned with worldly pleasure than pleasing God in being an honorable and responsible man, this is not the kind of man who will rightly point his family toward Christ-likeness. The Bible has a name for the guy who has the Peter-Pan syndrome: he is called “the sluggard.” Proverbs mentions him several times, including in Proverbs 6:9-11, which states, “How long will you lie there, O sluggard? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.” What is this man’s work ethic? Is he unhealthily dependent on his friends or family?
A man may apologize to you over and over again, but if he has abused you even once, leave the dating relationship immediately. Encourage him to find a godly man who can help him, but you should get out fast. Has he not taken adult responsibility such as his living arrangements or expenses? If your date is a flirt or has many close female friends (especially previous girlfriends), this is something to take as a caution.
However, a husband is responsible to lead his wife in sanctification, as this verse explains with the imagery of Christ and His bride.
If a man cannot do that, he is not ready to be a husband.
As cute as his flirtation may have seemed toward you, it might also be an indicator that he likes “playing the field” and will continue to—even just in seemingly harmless ways—after marriage. A man who is unwilling to take counsel shows that he is prideful instead of humble.
Proverbs says, “Where there is no guidance [counsel], a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” A man who seeks counsel is a man who desires to be wise. Has he invited accountability into his life from not only his friends, but older and wiser men?
If you have just spotted some serious red flags in your dating relationship, seek counsel from wise, confidential people in your church community.
But remember, the decision is ultimately up to you.
Dating does not include listings for all dating sites.
It’s an good question that needs to be considered seriously. The same applies for sexual innuendo that is inappropriate before marriage.
If he is always broaching conversations about sex, he is not doing a good job of helping you to protect your mind against lust before marriage.
Because so often, “Love is blind,” input and counsel from other people around you will be very helpful to spot positives or negatives in a relationship. All of these points, of course, you should prayerfully consider in your own life.
If we as women are unwilling to be above reproach in these areas, why should we expect that from men?