So according to the “common knowledge” that black women are virtually ignored on dating sites, Mwtururua should have been flooded with a barrage of eligible bachelors and marriage proposals, right? Men would actually take the time to write an entire personalized paragraph to introduce themselves, whereas a good portion of my in-mail was incoherent gibberish like: “How you are beautiful eyes and your beauty beloved charming you the most beautiful angel.” Say what?
Quality of Suggested Matches Stephanie got more slightly better looking matches than I did.
She also never ran into an issue where a match’s profile specifically excluded her race from the ethnicity preferences, in comparison to me where I’d often see Black women specifically excluded from ethnicity preferences.
When comparing both online dating experiences, the most curious thing that came out of it for me was that even though my number of per week profile views beat out Stephanie’s, this did not translate into more interactions.
I asked a good friend who is mixed race, “How do I start dating black people?
” She laughed at me: I was living in the artsy, mostly white Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, and she gently suggested I try hanging out in other places as a first step.
So I started going to bars frequented by black folks, and I briefly tried clicking the “only African American” box on dating sites before deciding to have no race settings (the first person I went out with after I started this process was Asian).
I'd love to tell you that as a result of my new, expanded horizons, I’ve met my true love. But I have grown, and so have my relationships with other black people.
”After a while I began to ask that same question of myself.
Her personality and hobbies are exactly identical to mine: she listens to Beyoncé, practices yoga and is a self-described health enthusiast. Number of Profile Views Stephanie got 27 views in one week. High-Grade Interactions Received (email) Stephanie received 5 emails in one week compared to my abysmal 1 email per week.
She’s looking for the same type of guy as me: at least 5’9”, athletic build, college educated with no kids. Quality of Emails Stephanie’s in-mail messages were generally crafted better.
Head over to Google news and type in “black women” and “marriage” and you’ll be hit with a barrage of over-analysis on why no one wants us for marriage, in online dating, anywhere — and this fascination is strange seeing that black women are a mere 6% of the American population.
Madame Noire writer Christine Mwaturura came up with the ingenious plan of changing her race on a dating site to see exactly what life is like on the other side.