Heck, you’ve seen parts of the brains of your googly-eyed buddies splatted on the sidewalk as they mumble ‘yes dear’ while carrying Macy’s shopping bags, and it ain’t pretty. It tends to peak early, then decline — regression to the mean. If the crazy love has worn off but you just really like having her around, and imagine a life with her is a hell of a lot better than a life without her, and you can tell she’s going to make a fine mother for your children, then go for it.
Marriage is a vast edifice deserving of a strong foundation. Nobody goes to the altar ) and concede that, in this country, you’ve got a 50-50 shot that this is going to work.
Moreover, I’ve never proposed to anyone, so far be it from me to instruct in that domain.
That said, my job here is to help you make better decisions. That’s some weird bill of sale that the romance books have sold you.
So be smart about it, and if you truly love her and love yourself, line things up beforehand to avoid a rancorous split should things go sour.
Divorce is a terrible, awful, miserable thing — especially if there are worldly goods and children involved.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog.
But please, — including your female friends, and your parents and your sister? If that’s your idea of a healthy relationship, be my guest.The wise men of the east say that the knife can’t cut itself, and the tongue can’t taste itself. But other than that, every other species has excursions, technically called. Chimpanzees and bonobos, for example, tend to go bananas with their voracious sexual appetites.And you are too close to yourself to be able to see clearly what you’re getting yourself into. Gorillas, not so much (although each alpha male keeps a nice harem, which isn’t strictly monogamy in my book).Don’t build it on the flimsy leaves of infatuation. Dude — you have no idea who you’re marrying until you marry her.2) Get a prenuptial agreement — especially if you’re rich. It’s like trying to practice swimming on dry land: no amount of preparation does you any good until you take the plunge.