For the non-ADHD partner, this means learning how to react to frustrations in ways that encourage and motivate your partner. If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued.
You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don’t remember later, which can be frustrating to others. Even when a person with ADHD is paying attention, he or she may later forget what was promised or discussed.
Relationships where one or both members of the couple have ADHD can be troubled by misunderstandings, frustrations, and resentments.
This is especially likely if the symptoms of ADHD have never been properly diagnosed or treated.
It’s easy to see how the feelings on both sides can contribute to a destructive cycle in the relationship. Transforming your relationship starts with understanding the role that ADHD plays.
If you’ve been together a long time or you’ve had the same fights again and again, you might think that you already understand where your partner is coming from.
But don’t underestimate how easy it is to misinterpret your partner or spouse’s actions and intentions.
This impulsivity can also lead to irresponsible and even reckless behavior (for example, making a big purchase that isn’t in the budget, leading to fights over finances). Many people with ADHD have trouble moderating their emotions.
You may lose your temper easily and have trouble discussing issues calmly.